Ah, Thanksgiving. While December might bring warring factions in favor of Christmas, Hannaukah, or Kwanzaa, we can all feast together on Thanksgiving, America’s oldest and best (objectively speaking, of course) holiday. Some may be watching the clock, waiting until Macy’s (M) opens so they can fight a crowd of angry people scrambling for a deal on a blender, but those people are lunatics. Thanksgiving is about football, naps, poultry, and more naps. Because any time you dedicate an entire day to eating, the results are bound to be good, and celebrating that fact is one thing all Americans can agree on.
So, in the spirit of the season (Turn off those Christmas Carols! ONE more day, that’s all I ask), here are some ETFs that could fit into our Thanksgiving theme:
iShares MSCI Turkey Investable Market Index Fund (TUR)
Index: MSCI Turkey Investable Market Index
What’s that? Wrong Turkey? Nuts. Well, either way, if you’re looking for an emerging market ETF for the season, here’s one you might gobble up.
PowerShares DWA Emerging Markets Technical Leaders Portfolio ETF (PIE)
Index: Dorsey Wright Emerging Markets Technical Leaders Index
I wonder what kind of chart we should use to display the various holdings of this ETF…
Teucrium Corn Fund (CORN)
Index: Corn futures
Global X Fishing Industry ETF (FISN)
Index: Solactive Global Fishing Index
What’s that? Corn, while an acceptable side dish, hardly strikes you as a quintessential Thanksgiving dish? And fish? Why fish? Well, you, sir or madam, have clearly forgotten the story of Thanksgiving. The one we all learned in elementary school about the Native Americans helping the pilgrims learn to grow their own food, allowing them to survive the winter and prompting the first Thanksgiving. You know, the one that conveniently skirted around the decimation of the Native American population by smallpox or the theft of their lands that took place over subsequent generations.
Either way, a central part of this myth was how Squanto, a brave local farmer, showed the pilgrims how to grow the Native American staple crop of maize by planting it with a dead fish as fertilizer. Of course, if you had the fish, it’s hard to understand why the corn would be so important when you could just eat the fish, but as noted earlier, this legend is nothing if not lacking for authenticity. Bonus points if you buy them in tandem.
Guggenheim Shipping Index ETF (SEA)
Index: Dow Jones Global Shipping Index
Needing to escape the religious intolerance of their native England, The pilgrims had to make a long, difficult voyage to America where they could impose their own brand of religious intolerance. If they could see how easy it is to make that trip these days, I imagine it would be deeply upsetting.
PowerShares Dynamic Food & Beverage ETF (PBJ)
Index: Dynamic Food & Beverage Intellidex Index
So any celebration of Thanksgiving-themed ETFs would need to include the primary broad food and beverage play out there. What’s more, for our less-talented cooks, the potential for disaster inherent in any kitchen undertaking as big as Thanksgiving dinner is stated in the ETF’s ticker. Because we’re all just one grease fire away from enjoying a PB&J sandwich for dinner.
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