The Guide to Halloween Costumes

Jacob Harper |

It's been a trend the last few years to ditch the tired old costume ideas and have a little fun by providing a twist with a pun, commentary, or just some outright silliness. Say goodbye to Elvis, say hello to "Elvish," AKA The King if he were an Elf.

With Halloween around the corner, and us being a financial news website and all, we thought it'd be fun to come up with costume ideas that play on common business terms and phrases. And we threw in a few that touched on the zeitgeist, just for good measure.

So if you don't want to be a ghost or a vampire for the fortieth straight year, get in touch with your inner business dork and consider going to the party as one of the following:

Float Shorts: Find a pair of white shorts. Then channel your inner Picasso and use magic markers to draw a bunch or root beer floats on them. Float shorts!

Also, tell everyone all night you bet something bad is about to happen to them.

The Taper: Wear a bunch of tape all over yourself. Maybe tape other people too! Or if you want to add the conceptual touch, tell everyone all year you're going to the party, and then never show up.

The iYou: Wear a white t-shirt with a giant Apple logo. When someone asks you a question, do your best Siri and say “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that.”

Debt Ceiling: Put your head through a piece of cardboard. If you really want to drive the point home, wear the clothes you wore when you were little and insist if they fit back then, they should fit forever.

Gold Bug: Wear all gold everything, with bug antennae. Paint yourself if you want to really get into it. Pay for all your drinks with doubloons.

Zombie Steve Jobs: A little green makeup, some wire-rimmed glasses and a black turtleneck and blam! You've got an undead CEO with an insatiable hunger for clean design, perfection, and brains.

The JPMorgan Chase and Co. (JPM) : Break a bunch of the host's stuff. If he or she starts to get upset, just throw some money on the ground. Consider it settled!

Sexy Warren Buffett: Dress up like Berkshire Hathaway’s ($BRK-A), but in a midriff-bearing shirt. More like the “Oracle of WHOAH-maha!”

Fed Chief: Wear an FBI jacket and a fireman’s helmet. Manufacture some fiat currency while you’re at it.

Bear Market: Wear a suit with a bunch of teddy bears stapled to it. Ask people if they want to buy any.

Bull Market: Buy all of the bear market’s teddy bears.

DISCLOSURE: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors, and do not represent the views of Readers should not consider statements made by the author as formal recommendations and should consult their financial advisor before making any investment decisions. To read our full disclosure, please go to:


Symbol Name Price Change % Volume
AAPL Apple Inc. 117.97 0.32 0.27 24,294,181
JPM JP Morgan Chase 68.79 -0.09 -0.12 6,912,725
NPNYY Nippon Yusen Kabushiki Kaisha Sponsored ADR 2006 3.86 -0.06 -1.41 990


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