Hey kids, today is #selfisaturday, the day I get to take a photo of myself having coffee, watching TV, relaxing or just any other mundane thing and post to my friends online. 95% of my Facebook friends I don’t talk to in real life or on facebook, but I feel the need to send a pic so they can be jealous of me “enjoying coffee on a great Saturday.” Soon after I check those likes and comments. How many of these unsocial contacts will like coffee, comment on how much they like coffee, or just indulge my minute of fame.
I love seeing my “friends” status updates every hour with such cries for help as “worst day ever,” “feeling lost,” “God is great,” followed by likes and comments that are just as cryptic. Why do we seek this attention? If you are depressed, get help or talk to a friend instead of letting everyone know.
Update Status Time : On Scenic Malibu
As I sit at the diner I think, "I must tweet the pic of the hamburger I am eating, I am sure my friends will be jealous. My life needs to be documented. People need to know where I am, what I am doing, and how I am feeling. It makes me feel connected.
I must also let my friends know about how much I ran this morning, push that runtastic status update to the masses who will gladly cheer me on or just let me know that I am annoying them with constant updates about my new fitness regime.
I Deserve Recognition And Praise
As I look at sports I see the basketball, football players all high fives and salute each other for…well, doing their job. Damn I should do that in the office every day. Every time I do my job, run around letting everyone know I just turned on my computer, I just logged in, I am just doing my job. Do we all need group hugs, showcasing every time we do what we are supposed to be doing?
Do we all need this, do we need to feel so important, so self-righteous every day just for being alive. Having dinner with friends is not a world changing event, but I will post many pictures of how happy I am with my friends to my "friends" who I don’t communicate with except through my posts, tweets, and IG duckface pics.
My #selfiesaturday Is Important To Me
I always enjoy walking into a TGI Friday's restroom and taking a selfie; that’s classy people. I usually take my shirt off because I need to show off my abs. Yes it gets awkward when some stranger walks in, but I have just posted pics of the quesadilla I was eating and I am sure a bathroom selfie is in order too. They are also good if I feel the need for a dating profile.
I also like to let my friends know about social events too, letting them know my horror and sadness at the death of some film star who I haven’t met but loved their movies. Or school shootings. Yes, I need to let people know that my thoughts and prayers are with the families. I am sure in their time of grieving my update will ease their pain, plus now the single women friends on my list know how sensitive I am to current event. I may geta date out of that show of support from the ex i had 16 years ago who lives near me and has recently gone through a divorce, I will wait for her to like my post to start my interaction. I am a gentleman after all.
Am I really socially aware as I walk around, passing up the homeless, too busy checking updates to open doors for people at stores, too imune too the people around me, too isolated in my social media posts to be social? Have I become so important that people should every opinion, thought and bowel movement I have? NO!!
Enjoying Salad with Friends
To those selfie artists, those who post how miserable their life is, those who feel the need to motivate me with bible quotes (the nice quotes) , and how to move on from a broken heart memes. I am sorry, get over yourself, get up off your seats, get out in the world. Be kind to your neighbors, open a door,say Hi to someone, help the elderly and stop thinking that I care about how good that salad is even though the pic is great.
I expect many likes for this article, I will check it through out the weekend.
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